Friday, June 18, 2010

It's just soccer, Glenn. Get over it.

Glenn Beck hates soccer. So says, Glenn:

"It doesn't matter how you sell it to us. It doesn't matter how many celebrities you get. It doesn't matter how many bars open early. It doesn't matter how many beer commercials they run. We don't want the World Cup. We don't like the World Cup. We don't like soccer. We want nothing to do with it. You can package it any way -- you can spend all kinds of money. You can force it on our television sets. We will not enjoy the World Cup."

"I don't get the baseball thing, but the soccer thing, I hate it so much -- probably because the rest of the world likes it so much, and they riot over it, and they continually try to jam it down our throat."

No one's trying to force anything down your throat, Glenn. (Insert joke here____.)

Once again, Glenn failed to look at the facts before he opened up his fat yap. Of course, soccer isn't as popular in the US as football and baseball are, but that doesn't mean that soccer has no fans here. But this really has nothing to do with sports, and Glenn knows it. It has everything to do with what Glenn views as a multi-cultural, international threat on his idea of American culture. In reality, this has much more to do with the fact that Glenn couldn't hustle his fat ass up and down a field for 90 minutes, or even 2 for that matter. Therefore, Glenn simply views it as a threat to his self-perceived manhood, so he has to make up for his tender ego by lashing out at the rest of the world and soccer fans worldwide.

So, here's a tip for Glenn Beck, his braindead clones, and everyone else who hates soccer - if you don't want to watch it, turn your television off.

If the US wins the World Cup, how much would you like to bet that Glenn won't display even the smallest ounce of more feigned patriotism?

Listen to Glenn rant below.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Okay, seriously, Gary...

By now you may have heard about Gary Faulkner, the Rambo wannabe who has his heart set on the capture and/or death of Osama bin Laden. He left the US to go to Afghanistan to find the OBL after being fed up by the failure of the US military to find and kill him. So Faulkner, being a Christian, boarded a plane with nothing more than a Bible and plastic handcuffs.

After arriving in Pakistan on June 3rd, he was escorted to a hotel where he was being detained, but he slipped out of the hotel unnoticed by authorities. Then he was summarily arrested by said authorities. At the time of his arrest, he was carrying a sword, a sidearm, and, of course, more Christian fundie writings.

Now, I can appreciate the eagerness to take on the poster boy for fundamentalist terrorism, but this is beyond laughable. Now millions of would-be patriotic Americans are hailing this clown as a hero.

Gary, if you're reading this, just what are you trying to prove? How do you think you're going to get OBL even when the most powerful military force on the planet has so far failed? How do you plan on getting through OBL's entourage with nothing more than a sidearm and a sword? Please come to your senses and go back home to your family and friends.

Personally, I think OBL is either dead or sipping a pina colada on some island right under our noses.